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Election Controversy - Candidate Demands RecountWashington - Clueless Press International Controversy has erupted over the election of a winner for the office of Phan of the Week at Katharinefans.com. The position, whose delegate is elected in an at-large vote of registered members, recognizes those who have gone above and beyond the call of duty in representing Phans worldwide in the celebration of the unique talents and qualities of their namesake, Katharine Hope McPhee.
Mr. Yuvaram Yuvaram, a nominated candidate in the election, today demanded a recount, claiming that his evil twin brother, Mr. YuvarUm YuvarUm, had purposely sabotaged his campaign. Mr. Yuvaram, speaking on Meet the Press, stated, "I demand a recount!!!!!. My brother managed to have himself nominated despite his obvious malicious intentions, and voter confusion led to my placement on the ballot. If he had not usurped the electoral process in this manner, I would not even have been on the ballot, thus saving myself the embarrassment shared by Jimmy Carter, Walter Mondale and Michael Dukakis. An investigation and recount are certainly in order."
Mr. YuvarUm YuvarUm was unavailable for comment and calls to his listed number went unanswered.
An FBI spokesperson, contacted at headquarters in Washington, D.C., stated that a preliminary investigation had turned up no wrongdoing on the part of Mr. YuvarUm. "A paper trail seems to be non-existent, and without that, well...", stated the representative from the office of the Deputy Director in Charge of Election Malfeasance.
Meanwhile, the Supreme Court of the United States issued a statement saying that while they understand the importance of electoral fairness, the law as it currently stands does not apply in this instance. John G. Roberts, Jr., Chief Justice, stated that while Mr. Yuvaram does not have a case under U.S. Constitutional Law, he should be pleased that his name was placed on the ballot. "Unfortunately for Mr. Yuvaram, the election for Phan of the Week does not recognize The Electoral College method of determination since the election is a worldwide event and Mr. Yuvaram is from India.. If the Electoral College were involved and the vote were to be determined by consensus of territorial population, the winner, Ms. Laurie AI12345, would have carried the entire United States total of 538 electoral votes and Mr. Yuvaram would have won with a electoral total of 4,312 based on the population of his native India. Mr. Yuvaram should be proud of his nomination and strive for a more vigorous campaign next week," said Justice Roberts.