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Subject: "Nashville, Faith, and the American Idol Zoo Show"
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Username: KatFan49
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Location: Just outside the Capitol of the Free World


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08/12/2006 3:08 PM Alert 
The Hollywood Tattletale
"If you subscribe to us...you need a life"

Nashville, Faith, and the American Idol Zoo Show

Nashville - Clueless Press International   
Well, here I am in Nashville, Home of the Grand Ole Opry and another stop on the American Idol Season 5 tour.

The concert itself was fairly uneventful, except for a disclosure by crowd favorite Katharine McPhee. Referring to the country music roots so firmly established in this beautiful city, she spoke a few words about a personal favorite of mine - Faith Hill. Ms. McPhee explained that she was in Nashville as part of the AI tour because she had, to put it simply, ducked out on a date with an old boyfriend to a Faith Hill concert. Instead, she had zipped off to San Francisco to try out for the nationally acclaimed reality show. Lucky for us Katharine Phans. Too bad for the old boyfriend. I hope he managed to get good scalper's prices for those tickets.

As I said, the concert provided nothing really new, but outside the venue it was a different story entirely. Based on information provided by a source who supposedly witnessed the scene, two phanatical Phans apparently bewildered the bejeezub out of Ms. McPhee. Breaking through the security barrier surrounding the idols and the tour buses, the two women, accompanied by a large duck and a baby elephant, accosted Ms. McPhee, who was understandably concerned. Despite repeated warnings by security personnel, the two, suspected to be the notorious "Laurie" and "Elphie" of Phan folklore, forced the confused Ms. McPhee to take possession of the duck and elephant and demanded that she share them with the other female contestants. The "assailants" then vanished into the night. It was reported that the pair may have had accomplices, since they were supposedly seen talking on cell phones shortly before and immediately after the incident.

A security spokesman I spoke with would neither confirm or deny the account. Bolstering the story was the addition of a U-Haul trailer to the American Idol caravan, apparently to transport the newly acquired animal members of the tour cast. American Idol spokespeople were unable to verify rumors that the new members would be participating in the group finale for the remainder of the tour.







Katharine's summer is full of hope, full of potential, and promises to provide many bouquets to grace the home that I call my heart.

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Username: Minnie
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08/12/2006 6:18 PM Alert 
chuckle, chuckle...yeah, that would be great if they could join the finale, ha ha!

We are definitely working together -- working on a record together. She sings so magnificently, it's just amazing -David Foster-


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08/12/2006 8:13 PM Alert 
Posted By KatFan49 on 08/12/2006 3:08 PM
Breaking through the security barrier surrounding the idols and the tour buses, the two women, accompanied by a large duck and a baby elephant, accosted Ms. McPhee, who was understandably concerned.
LMAO!

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08/12/2006 11:19 PM Alert 
a large duck and a baby elephant and the notorious L and E, love the story!!! LOL
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08/13/2006 5:33 AM Alert 
Posted By KatFan49 on 08/12/2006 3:08 PM
The Hollywood Tattletale
"If you subscribe to us...you need a life"

Nashville, Faith, and the American Idol Zoo Show

Despite repeated warnings by security personnel, the two, suspected to be the notorious "Laurie" and "Elphie" of Phan folklore, forced the confused Ms. McPhee to take possession of the duck and elephant and demanded that she share them with the other female contestants.



The Daily Dung's Omni Scient reportedly tried to get into this event--but he was stuck outside in the torrential rains that started up not long before showtime. Instead of getting in to talk to Kat and the other idols, Mr. Scient managed to talk to another older bearded guy named Noah who was seen building some kind of giant boat made out of wood that he took from the trees near the venue. Though security tried to arrest the guy for chopping down the trees and building a boat right out in front of mocking idols fans...security gave up after the rains became too intense.

Mr. Scient managed to talk to this guy a little longer and found out that he, too, was a Kat Phan--and was actually building this giant wooden boat for the idols so they could get to the next city easier over what he predicted would be twenty feet of water by late evening. Even though Mr. Scient politely reminded the guy that the rains would probably lighten up eventually, this Noah guy kept slaving away on building the boat. He even asked Mr. Scient if he knew what a cubit was. When Mr. Scient answered "A miniature Rubik's Cube?"--Noah just shook his head and uttered something that sounded like "You're not worth saving."

Well, it seems that after the show, this giant boat was all built.  Some witnesses claim they say pairs of deer, monkeys, horses and other animals entering the boat. Mr. Scient swore on a stack of unread bibles that he witnessed something extraordinary as he was leaving the area after trying to get into the venue all night without any luck. He claims he saw that duck and elephant brought by "Laurie" and "Elphie" climb out of the tour bus's U-Haul trailer and join another duck and elephant that looked almost identical to them. They all entered the giant boat together. And then the giant side door on the boat closed up tight while a few rain-drenched fans pounded on the door to get inside for safety.

Mr. Scient says he just moved on and went back to his hotel. In the morning, though, he glanced out his window that looked out over the general area where the venue is. He said a giant rainbow was seen in the sky over the area. Walking back down to that venue site after breakfast--he noticed the giant wooden boat was gone.

As a bit of a coda to this article, Mr. Scient mentions that Omni Present was also at the venue--and managed to get inside...even backstage. He told about this "Laurie" and "Elphaba" talking amongst themselves about some kind of radio tent that almost fell on them outside the venue. That's when maybe the rainbow seen in the sky the next morning made more sense.

It also turns out that "Noah" was seen backstage later talking with Katharine. He was actually a former Country star who once recorded a song called 'A Flood's A Comin' to Nashville' that was sort of a minor hit in the 1960's. He reportedly tried to persuade Kat to join him on his giant boat. This promptly made Katharine turn away in shock and go to a photo album given to her earlier to see if this guy's photo was in there.
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Forums > American Idol > American Idol Satire and Fiction > "Nashville, Faith, and the American Idol Zoo Show"



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