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Here is my last poem. I'm still not sure about the title. I couldn't make anything else fit. Let me know what you think. Hope you enjoy!!
Thank you
by Christina (plhgirl2277)
For making the right choice
And blessing us with your voice
For giving us a piece of your heart
And sharing with us from the start
For all that you give
And the life that you live
For all of the strides that you took
And confirming how an idol should look
For inspiring us to think in a positive way
And to strive for a better life everyday
For the love that you share
And your never-ending care
I have completely re-wrote the 'Thank you' poem. Thank you again for the advice Gary. I really liked writing it this way. Let me know what you think. Hope you enjoy and happy writing!!
For expressing yourself through song choice
And liberating our minds with your voice
For all of the positive thoughts you have planted
And the window to your heart you have granted
For making us a part of your journey
And sending us heartfelt messages frequently
For being fearless to show your emotion
And set a brilliant career into motion
For creating a quality image for young girls
And modeling an elegance like pearls
For your desire to give through your fame
And inspiring us to do the same
Hi Groucho,I really like your poem. It's simple and sophisticated at the same time. It tells a great story and uses strong and well-known images to do so. I also enjoyed the refrain pattern. Just in the vein of polishing, the only thing that seemed hard to read was the third line of the following stanza: But if you look closely you can see diamonds in her eyes,And if you look closer still you can see the future.It’s all right there, it’s just written in code that only the initiates can read.Doubters doubt, lovers drown them out,But only she knows the truth.What if that line was slightly modified to run something like:It’s all right there, just coded so only those who know may read. Thanks for this great contribution.Gary
Her voice quickly scales my far horizon. It is clear
and slides back dark remains of nights before,
like star Venus, modest but bright, merry in blue light. I adore
that she rises like cool dawn to cheer.
Listen, to be unwrapped and reheated is a certain surprise.
This young thing in brunette wings, funny faces,
makes pure sound by nature, nurtured through hard years. Graces
and Muses go green when her song flies.
Everyone’s daughter, older sister, girl, live all you now find.
Beautiful? Exactly. And simply charmed. In your grateful eyes,
far-away strangers feel nickname-close, strangely wise.
This dear tune you leave in mind. ************