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Forums > Katharine Activities > Katharine 'Projects'
Subject: McPoetry Project Poem Thread
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Username: flamingojess
Online: User is Offline
Posts:98

Katharine Crazy
Katharine Crazy
Location: Oklahoma


Member Since 4/6/2006
07/11/2006 11:37 AM Alert 
Posted By KatKrazy on 07/10/2006 11:41 PM
Hi Jess,

First, it's good to have you here and thanks much for your kind words of praise. About your lovely poem: It has a purity of feeling which is beautiful. Two things to consider--the first stanza contains a rhyme between lines 2 and 4. This kind of sets it up as a rhyming poem, but the rest does not rhyme (which is fine). Perhaps take out the "day...day" rhyme. (Technical point: in stanza two, it should probably be "Have shown".)  Second, and much more important, would you be comfortable in the poem sharing more about yourself and the things Kat has helped you (or will help you) to face? We know she's helping you, but in the poem it's hard to connect with the meaningfulness of this because we can't see what you are really thinking of. Show more of yourself in the poem, I would say, and tie specific things about Kat to specific things in your life.

Looking forward and all the best,

Gary




what if like every other stanza had a rhyme? would that make sense?

for example

stanza 1: lines 2 and 4 rhyme
stanza 2: no rhymes
stanza 3: lines 2 and 4 rhyme
stanza 4: no rhymes

would that work or not?
Username: flamingojess
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Posts:98

Katharine Crazy
Katharine Crazy
Location: Oklahoma


Member Since 4/6/2006
07/11/2006 12:02 PM Alert 
I don't think I can make it any more personal and be comfortable with it.  I tried to add/change/subtract some things from it, but I don't know if I made it better or worse. 

Comments/Revisions/etc. please!!


My Inspiration

You are everything I need,
To make it through the day,
An inspiration to live my life,
And do some good each day.

All that you have overcome,
And all that you are and have been,
Have shown that I can make it through
The storms of life that come along.

You have faced so many depressions and insecurities,
And in the end came out happy and strong.
You've taugh me how to make it through
All the pain and tears, insecurities and fears,
That Hollywood pressure brings along.

Criticism and judgement, both come your way,
But you gracefully take it, and show that you won't let it change who you are inside.
Through this example I have learned many things,
Like I should always be myself and not let others put me down.

Though I've had to face some painful times,
I just listen to your voice or think back to things you've said,
And I know that I will make it through,
And outshine the pains in life,
While expressing the good things that have gone unsaid.

Jessica McCall, 15
Duncan, Oklahoma


I'm not really sure if that made it worse or better.  I can't decide if it makes any sense or not.  I mean, it does to me, but it might not to the reader.  So comments are welcome!!
Username: KatKrazy
Online: User is Offline
Posts:258
Katharine Addict
Katharine Addict
Location: Chicago


Member Since 5/17/2006
07/12/2006 9:28 AM Alert 
Dear Jessica,

I think it is very nice. I like it. I would just split the final lines in both stanzas 3 and 5 into two lines, making each of those stanzas 5 lines long (right now those last lines are just too long on their own).

Good work!

Gary
Username: flamingojess
Online: User is Offline
Posts:98

Katharine Crazy
Katharine Crazy
Location: Oklahoma


Member Since 4/6/2006
07/12/2006 1:47 PM Alert 
Posted By KatKrazy on 07/12/2006 9:28 AM
Dear Jessica,

I think it is very nice. I like it. I would just split the final lines in both stanzas 3 and 5 into two lines, making each of those stanzas 5 lines long (right now those last lines are just too long on their own).

Good work!

Gary


okay, I split those last lines into two lines.  Does that seem better?
Username: willow
Online: User is Offline
Posts:183

Katharine Obsessed
Katharine Obsessed
Location: Philippines


Member Since 5/11/2006
07/12/2006 11:19 PM Alert 
Posted By KatFan49 on 07/11/2006 1:41 AM
Posted By KatKrazy on 07/11/2006 1:06 AM
Dear katfan,

Thank you for this. I'm working on the book as well. I plan to discuss with Trina, but I can see your piece being formatted in a way so that your descriptions surround an artistic rendering of the word "hope".
 
I just posted to your "coin" thread, too. Nice job.

Gary S.

Hi Gary,

As I mentioned to Trina, I don't write poetry. It to me is more like a symphony, whereas my work is more of a jam session.  I get an idea and run with it, and at some point it takes over and uses me as the tool to complete itself.  I like to play with the words, but the format grows spontaneously as the thoughts flow. If you can use it in a positive way, all the better.  If ever a collection of essays or free thoughts are put together, I would be honored to be considered as a contributor.

Thanks for the great feedback on "coin".  I really enjoyed letting that one flow from idea to end.

Don
 

 Hey Don,

 I guess, that would be great. Poems and free thoughts compiled together. Anyway, this project is intended to let Kat know what we think and feels about her.


Hi Gary,

Hmm...How about it, Gary? Don't you think this is a good idea? But the rules stays. I mean 3 writings per person and the essay should be limited to a certain numbers of character? To give other mcphans a chance to share their thoughts too.
Just a thought.

-kim
Username: KatKrazy
Online: User is Offline
Posts:258
Katharine Addict
Katharine Addict
Location: Chicago


Member Since 5/17/2006
07/13/2006 12:17 AM Alert 
Hey Kim,

Thanks for your post and question. I will consult with Bill and Trina and we will get back to everyone by way of this thread.

Best,

Gary
Username: KatFan49
Online: User is Offline
Posts:624

Katharine Addict
Katharine Addict
Location: Just outside the Capitol of the Free World


Member Since 7/8/2006
07/13/2006 12:58 AM Alert 
Gary,

It seems that my comment about an essay/free thought compilation has potentially taken the poetry project in a different direction than it was originally intended.  Please know that I did not mean for it to do so.  I was just thinking out loud, so to speak, about a separate project of essays/free thoughts to compliment and go hand in hand with the project already underway that so many, especially you, have worked so hard to put together.  I would not want to be responsible in any way for a reformatting of the original idea this far along in the effort, especially if it would result in a delay of the publishing of this wonderful collection. If, however, a poetry/essay/free thought compilation is decided upon as a good idea, I would be honored to participate. 

As an aside, Trina and I have been communicating about the artwork for the project. She is very talented and her work will make for an outstanding presentation to accompany and enhance the poetry.  I have a background in both fine art and digital graphics that I think you can use to advantage when time comes to develop the cover art.

I had offered to help on the art side with no thought of being included in the poetry project, just because I feel it is a worthwhile effort. Whatever is decided about the format of the program, please know that I will honor my commitment to assist in any way with the project. 

All the best.
Katharine's summer is full of hope, full of potential, and promises to provide many bouquets to grace the home that I call my heart.

www.myspace.com/katfan49
www.myspace.com/katfia
www.myspace.com/katspack
Username: KatKrazy
Online: User is Offline
Posts:258
Katharine Addict
Katharine Addict
Location: Chicago


Member Since 5/17/2006
07/13/2006 10:49 AM Alert 
Dear Don,

Yes, this particular project will focus on poetry. We can all certainly consider doing a separate prose book. Of course, poetry itself is notoriously hard to define and we are going to employ a broad definition. For example, we would love to include most of your "Hope" post in a format something like this (the thread here messed up the line breaks, so don't worry about that):



Such a small word. Such a huge concept. Such a beautiful name.

Katharine Hope McPhee.
A few of the many things her middle name means to me:

HOPE...
for the young girls and women who wish to pursue their dreams, and wonder if such a thing is possible.

for the many who face life's challenges with dedication and hard work, and wonder if anyone is paying attention.
for the criticized, who wonder if it is possible to carry on when feeling so dejected.
for those who suffer from health issues, and wonder if they can overcome them.

for the ones who suffer from self-image problems, and wonder if anyone will ever see them for who they really are.
for parents who question where society is going today, and wonder if there is room anymore for good children.

for people who have almost given up on the ideas of goodness and character, and wonder if there is any left to be found.

for some who strive day to day in drudgery, and wonder if work and fun can be enjoyed at the same time.

for those who compete and just miss the mark, and wonder if their life will forever be defined by the loss.

for the discouraged, who wonder if trying one more time is really worth the effort.

 

Her middle name is her defining characteristic;
a beacon that shines for others looking to avoid the rocks that life places in the entrances to our safe harbors;
the most important thing that Katharine gives to all of us.

Hope.



Don, are you comfortable with something like this getting included?

I also look forward to your help on the graphics. I'll be in touch about that by e-mail.

Gary



*****
Username: KatFan49
Online: User is Offline
Posts:624

Katharine Addict
Katharine Addict
Location: Just outside the Capitol of the Free World


Member Since 7/8/2006
07/13/2006 3:31 PM Alert 
Posted By KatKrazy on 07/13/2006 10:49 AM
Dear Don,

Yes, this particular project will focus on poetry. We can all certainly consider doing a separate prose book. Of course, poetry itself is notoriously hard to define and we are going to employ a broad definition. For example, we would love to include most of your "Hope" post in a format something like this (the thread here messed up the line breaks, so don't worry about that):



Such a small word. Such a huge concept. Such a beautiful name.

Katharine Hope McPhee.
A middle name to renew our faith and provide


HOPE...
 
for the young girls and women who wish to pursue their dreams, and wonder if such a thing is possible.


for the many who face life's challenges with dedication and hard work, and wonder if anyone is paying attention.

for the criticized, who wonder if it is possible to carry on when feeling so dejected.

for those who suffer from health issues, and wonder if they will ever be healthy again.


for the ones who suffer from self-image problems, and wonder if anyone will ever see them for who they really are.

for parents who question where society is going today, and wonder if there is room anymore for good children.


for people who have almost given up on the ideas of goodness and character, and wonder if there is any left to be found.


for some who strive day to day in drudgery, and wonder if work and fun can be enjoyed at the same time.


for those who compete and just miss the mark, and wonder if their life will forever be defined by the loss.


for the discouraged, who wonder if trying one more time is really worth the effort.

 

Her middle name is her defining characteristic;
a beacon that shines for others looking to avoid the rocks that life places in the entrances to our safe harbors;
the most important thing that Katharine gives to all of us.

Hope.


Adapted from "Hope" by Don (KatFan49)

Don, are you comfortable with something like this getting included?

I also look forward to your help on the graphics. I'll be in touch about that by e-mail.

Gary



*****


I have made a few changes (underlined above)  to the text to enable it to better say what I feel it should if it is to be reflective of what we all feel, as well as changing the line about health (I have changed this in the master as well.) I also added at the end adapted from...

I would have no problem with it being included as is - I like your revisions - they flow well in more of a poetic format.

All the best, my friend.
Katharine's summer is full of hope, full of potential, and promises to provide many bouquets to grace the home that I call my heart.

www.myspace.com/katfan49
www.myspace.com/katfia
www.myspace.com/katspack
Username: KatFan49
Online: User is Offline
Posts:624

Katharine Addict
Katharine Addict
Location: Just outside the Capitol of the Free World


Member Since 7/8/2006
07/13/2006 3:49 PM