For your central Jersey real estate needs: JudyNJHomes.com
"Scratch that cell call to Freud about Film-Noir in Tarzan's jungle. Dreaming about playing a flying, sexy biker chick version of Brunnhilde while 'Ride of the Valkyries' plays in the background is about as deep into my subsconscious as I want to get..."
Kat (as Juliet): "Romeo! Romeo! Whereart thou, Romeo?!"
Male Model (as Romeo): "Yo...I'm rights here. And I'm burning more Blue Steel than any steel factory in the country!"
"We're registered at Bloomingdale's, I'm in perfect shape for my wedding dress, the honeymoon location is all set up, no paparazzi within ten miles to bother our surprise Groundhog Day wedding--and I just had to go and get my mouth stuck on a bottle of water from eating all that peanut butter sent by RCA. Well, I think I can still whistle out "I do" from the side--but perfect weddings sometimes involve calling in doctors at the last minute to perform miracles..."
Sounds heard inside the Beverly Hills Presbyterian Church...
"Do you...Katharine Hope McPhee...take Nicolas Cokas to be your husband? Do you promise to love, honor, cherish and protect him, forsaking all others and holding only unto him?"
"I do..."
"Do you...Nicolas Cokas...take Katharine Hope McPhee to be your wife? Do you promise to love, honor, cherish and protect her, forsaking all others and holding only unto her?"
"The bride and groom may now kiss as they sail away in this gondola on Papa McPhee's tears. And, for crying out loud, will someone get security to get rid of those screaming people holding signs outside with a line through the words 'May-December?!'"
"After all the time I spent in the gym so I'd fit into my wedding gown, you're staring at HER? I will never understand men if I live to be a hundred. Never. "
^Attention...attention...will Groucho's missing caption photo please report to the Lost and Found area of the premises...
"Nick, when that honeymoon travel brochure said that our rooms in Hawaii would be half off--did the fine print say that includes the love seat? And when I saw the shag rug rolled up in a ball outside from flood damage...I just kept thinking a lot more about our perfect wedding..."
Nick's secret plans to make their honeymoon unique...
Nick: "Ok, cue the trumpet fanfare and the Greek-Hawaiian hybrid dancers who do a new, frenetic version of the Hula..."
Kat: "Um, I don't know when I'm supposed to look up to see my honeymoon surprise--but next to hearing those trumpets and yells of 'opah!' with ukeleles...I hear a rustling in the bushes over there that sounds suspiciously like a Southern California paparazzi rustle..."
Nick: "Ok, I'm going to go out on a limb and admit that I was wrong to deny it when you said that bees exist in Hawaii and can reside in the tropical flowers there suitable for taking a whiff of..."
___
Kat: "Nick, dear....I'M the designated one that's supposed to give the ominous glare at the paparazzi that turns them into quivering idiots. You're just the 'smirk and bear it' guy...unless the pre-nup fine print changed..."
K: "Geez, Larry, will you hurry up? Don't you know California girls get chilly when the mercury dips below 80?"
L: "Hang on, Mom, hang on, these trees are just so big and intimidating.... wait, there's a little yellow post! Target!"
"Ok, bathtub installer checkup! When I said I wanted a bathtub in my condo that looked like a fountain seen in Europe--I didn't expect the water to spring forth from the lion head's nose. Then again, this one is better than the last one you installed that had the cherub springing water from...oh, never mind. Just get it right before it turns 1929...I mean 2009..."