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 Katharine McPhee & Elliott Yamin - Real Love (Radio Edit) - Single - Real Love Get "Real Love" radio edit!
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Username: Yuvaram
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10/09/2006 7:36 PM Alert 

That's a map of the world that dates back to 1418







Don't forget, we're all human.. give what you want to receive... a smile, a thought, a tear, joy, pain, whatever it be.. you give it, you receive it.
Username: Yuvaram
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10/09/2006 7:37 PM Alert 
And here's something I found a long, long while ago

If all Chinese jumped at once, would cataclysm result?

06-Apr-1984

Dear Cecil:

I hope that you can answer a question that has plagued me since childhood. If every man, woman, and child in China each stood on a chair, and everyone jumped off their chair at exactly the same time, would the earth be thrown off its axis? Also, if prior to jumping, they all yelled at the top of their lungs, would we hear it here in the United States, and how much of a time delay would there be? --Robert P., Los Angeles

Dear Robert:

Amazing as it may seem, I am actually going to answer this incredibly retarded question. But first Uncle Cecil wishes to have a word with his devoted readers.

As you can imagine, I possess phenomenal scholarly resources. I have converted the spare bedroom in my house into a research library containing 16 million volumes, which are dusted twice a day by a team of robed acolytes holding candles. I have instant access via my Apple 380S GT to all the world's data banks. Why, right here on my writing table next to the box of spare quills I have a dog-eared copy of 16,000 Unbelievably Complicated Physics Experiments for the Home and Garden, With Answers, which has helped me out of many a jam.

But despite this wealth of scientific knowledge, the Teeming Millions routinely write in with questions that not one sane person has ever asked in 6,000 years of recorded history. As a result, my usual sources of information are useless.

Nonetheless, I try. I have been in repeated contact with the Beijing government all week in an effort to persuade them to get all 1,027,000,000 Chinese (1980 estimate) to jump off chairs. I have pleaded with them that will signficantly advance the cause of science. However, they have not been cooperative.

They point out the China is a poor country, and lacks a sufficient quantity of chairs. Moreover, many of the chairs that are available are of nonuniform height, meaning that even if all the Chinese jumped off at the same time, they would hit the ground at different times, thus throwing off the results of the experiment.

Finally, they point out that discipline among the Chinese people has become notoriously lax since the Cultural Revolution, and many of the participants in the project could be expected to be fooling around when they were supposed to be jumping. The Chinese government suggests that instead of having the entire nation jump off chairs, I should get one representative citizen to jump and multiply the results by 1,027,000,000. I have, needless to say, rejected this solution as grossly inadequate.

The possibility of an actual test thus being remote, I have been forced to rely on my considerable powers of inductive logic, to wit: given the principle that every action has an equal and opposite reaction, when the Chinese get up on their chairs, they would essentially be pushing the earth down in the process of elevating themselves. Then, when they jumped off, the earth would simultaneously spring back, attracted by the gravitational mass of one billion airborne Chinese persons, with the result that the Chinese and the earth would meet somewhere in the middle, if you follow me. The upshot of this is that action and reaction would cancel each other out and the earth would remain securely in orbit.

Just for fun, however--after you've been doing this job for a while you get a pretty bizarre notion of what constitutes a good time--suppose 1,000,000,000 Chinese, give or take 27,000,000, were somehow to materialize atop chairs without their having to elevate themselves thereto. And suppose they jumped off.

Having performed astonishing feats of mathematical acrobatics (requiring the entire afternoon, I might note--sometimes I can't believe the crap I spend my time on), I calculate that the resultant thud in aggregate would be the equivalent of 500 tons of TNT. Not bad, but nowhere near enough to dislocate the earth, which weighs 6 sextillion, 588 quintillion short tons. I refuse to even discuss what would happen if all the Chinese yelled at the top of their lungs.

--CECIL ADAMS

Don't forget, we're all human.. give what you want to receive... a smile, a thought, a tear, joy, pain, whatever it be.. you give it, you receive it.
Username: AI12345
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10/09/2006 8:57 PM Alert 
I ate a chip instead of a cookie today. What is going to happen to me?

You can call me Laurie..or L..or whatever it is that you would like to call me. These days, I answer to just about anything. :smiles:

A Proud Member of "The Laurs"

Katfia- "McQueen"..please people, it was given to me.
Username: Tia Erika
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10/09/2006 9:00 PM Alert 
LOL, You've Never Eaten A Peanut Butter And Jam Sandwich????!!!!!!!! Oh My... Go Make One And Let Me Know If You Like It LOL!
Posted By Yuvaram on 10/09/2006 7:33 PM
LOL! Okay..
I've never even had a Peanut butter and Jelly sandwich.. you're already on a whole new sandwich eating level!



My Niece: Camryn Julia(June 5, 2002, 5 Years, 6 Months)

My Nephew: Noah Patrick James(March 18, 2006, 21 Months)

My Nephew: Jack William(February 12, 2007, 10 Months)

My Nephew: Ethan Daniel Darryl(August 12, 2007, 4 Months)

Kat Pack #1423!

"An Eye For Eye Only Ends Up Making The Whole World Blind."

~M.K. Gandhi~


Username: Tia Erika
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10/09/2006 9:01 PM Alert 
Absolutley Nada LOL!
Posted By AI12345 on 10/09/2006 8:57 PM
I ate a chip instead of a cookie today. What is going to happen to me?



My Niece: Camryn Julia(June 5, 2002, 5 Years, 6 Months)

My Nephew: Noah Patrick James(March 18, 2006, 21 Months)

My Nephew: Jack William(February 12, 2007, 10 Months)

My Nephew: Ethan Daniel Darryl(August 12, 2007, 4 Months)

Kat Pack #1423!

"An Eye For Eye Only Ends Up Making The Whole World Blind."

~M.K. Gandhi~


Username: Yuvaram
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10/09/2006 9:25 PM Alert 
Sure, if I could import peanut butter, I'd do it.

Don't forget, we're all human.. give what you want to receive... a smile, a thought, a tear, joy, pain, whatever it be.. you give it, you receive it.
Username: Bigshady
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10/09/2006 10:18 PM Alert 
Posted By AI12345 on 10/09/2006 8:57 PM
I ate a chip instead of a cookie today. What is going to happen to me?



Well Laurie, for your sake I hope it'll all be peaches &
Cream.
But I'm afraid the end time is near. the cataclysmic apocalypse
Refered
To in the scriptures of every holy book know to mankind. it will be an
Era fraught with boundless greed & corruption, where global monitary
Systems disintegrate, leaving brother to kill brother for a grain of
Over
Cooked rice. the nations of the civilized world will collapse under the
Impressive weight of parasitic political conspiracies which remove all
Hope & optimism from their once faithfull citizens. around the globe,
Generations of polluters will be punished for their sins. unsheilded
By the o-zone they have successfully depleted, left to bake in the
Cering naked rays of light. wholesale assassinations served to
Destabilize
Every remaining government, leaving the starving & wicked to fend
For themselves. bloodthirsty renegade cyborgs created by tax dodging
Corporations reek havok. ticked off androids tired of being slaves to
A godless & gutless system, where the rich get richer & the poor get
screwed over and out, unleash total world wide destruction by means
Of nuclear holocaust, annihilating the terrified masses, leaving in
Its
Torturous wake nothing but vicious, cannibalistic, mutating,
Radiating,
And horribly dis-figured hordes of satanic killers, ? begged on
Revenge,
But against whom? , there are so few left alive. starvation reins
Supreme,
Forcing unlucky survivers to eat anything & anyone in their path.
Massive earthquakes crack the planets crust like a hollow egg shell,
Causing unending volcanic eruptions. creatures of the seven seas,
Unable to escape the certain death upon land, boil in their liquid
Prison.
Disease then circles the earth, plagues & viruses with no known cause
Or cure laying waste to whatever draws breath, and human-kind having
Proven itself to be nothing more than a race of ruthless scavengers,
Fall
Victim to merciless attacks at the hands of interplanetary alien
Tribes who
Seek to conquer our charred remains. this is extinction level event.

Gee, thanks a lot Laurie.  You couldn't have just had a cookie.

Username: AI12345
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10/09/2006 10:31 PM Alert 
For some odd reason, that makes me want to eat a forbidden apple.

You can call me Laurie..or L..or whatever it is that you would like to call me. These days, I answer to just about anything. :smiles:

A Proud Member of "The Laurs"

Katfia- "McQueen"..please people, it was given to me.
Username: Tia Erika
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10/09/2006 10:39 PM Alert 

LMAO!

Apples Are Yummylicious!


My Niece: Camryn Julia(June 5, 2002, 5 Years, 6 Months)

My Nephew: Noah Patrick James(March 18, 2006, 21 Months)

My Nephew: Jack William(February 12, 2007, 10 Months)

My Nephew: Ethan Daniel Darryl(August 12, 2007, 4 Months)

Kat Pack #1423!

"An Eye For Eye Only Ends Up Making The Whole World Blind."

~M.K. Gandhi~


Username: Mutt808
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10/10/2006 12:50 AM Alert 

Here is a cookie decorated like an apple.  I wonder if Laurie is facing great confusion and inner turmoil at the sight of it?


"Haha! I love your comments. You just wait there will be more of Kat in Glasses! ha! I love the pic of Nena in glasses. DID you do that? Clever is so! XX kat"
-- Katharine McPhee (January 4, 2007)
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10/10/2006 4:05 AM Alert 
Reports are that Cookie Monster has finally moderated his diet. Below is a before and after shot showing where he was last year compared to where he is as of last month:



There's been some rumours, though, the Cookiemeister buys his fruits and vegetables in a location where nuclear waste was once dumped. Reports are that Mr. Monster's made friends with the talking banana...but nobody knows for sure if that's an after-effect of nuclear materials. It does have two eyes, so there's speculation it's just natural phenomena at play here.

Just so you know, everybody must refer to Mr. Monster from now on as Food Pyramid Monster.

By the way, there's been some digging up of old photos taken when Mr. Monster was in treatment for cookie addiction back in 2002. I don't want to start any stupid trends here, but you must witness cookiesmoking with your own eyes before it becomes a myth. Never mind the toilet. Mr. Monster's doing much better now that he's moderated his diet...

Username: KatFan49
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10/10/2006 10:06 AM Alert 
So, anyway...

Three guys are sitting in the park talking when the subject of man's most amazing discovery comes up.

First Guy: "Well, I gotta say that the ability to control fire is man's most amazing discovery. I mean, we've got heat, we can cook our food, make steel, fire rockets off into space...pretty incredible if you ask me."

Second Guy: "Yeah, fire's important, but I'd have to say discovering the wheel was pretty amazing. We've got automobiles, machines, even rides at Disneyland that use the wheel. Not to mention Vanna White on TV every night."

Third Guy: "Hey, fire and the wheel are awesome, but for me, the most amazing discovery would have to be the thermos. It keeps my coffee hot in the winter and my iced tea cold in the summer. That's just amazing."

First Guy: "What?"

Second Guy: "Your thermos? Why is that so amazing? So what it keeps your coffee hot and your tea cold?"

Third Guy: "Yeah, but...how does it know?"

Katharine's summer is full of hope, full of potential, and promises to provide many bouquets to grace the home that I call my heart.

www.myspace.com/katfan49
www.myspace.com/katfia
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10/10/2006 10:50 AM Alert 
the florida gators are ranked #2 right now. L if you eat a forbidden apple, just make sure its a candy one! I want sushi for lunch .

-Ash-
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10/10/2006 11:45 AM Alert 
Dude, earlier, I opened two audio playing programs at one time. On one I played Kellie Pickler's rendition of "Walking After Midnight", and at the same time, on the other, I played "Sexy Back". It sounded so retarted... kinda like my laugh!!!

Katastrophic McPheever =^.^=
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10/10/2006 12:10 PM Alert 
 

Last nite at Madison Square Garden Barbra Streisand threw out the F-bomb to someone in the audience – Source the Today Show, I’m sure this will get plenty of coverage, but you heard it first on KMF. 

Username: KatFan49
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10/10/2006 12:39 PM Alert 
Posted By cobabycmw on 10/10/2006 12:10 PM
 

Last nite at Madison Square Garden Barbra Streisand threw out the F-bomb to someone in the audience – Source the Today Show, I’m sure this will get plenty of coverage, but you heard it first on KMF. 




And to think, once upon a time I actually considered her classy and pretty, too. How times do change.






Katharine's summer is full of hope, full of potential, and promises to provide many bouquets to grace the home that I call my heart.

www.myspace.com/katfan49
www.myspace.com/katfia
www.myspace.com/katspack
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10/10/2006 1:15 PM Alert 
Bah to babs! I am tired. and cranky. and im sick of drama lol.

-Ash-
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10/10/2006 2:47 PM Alert 

LOL, Co, I thought of you as soon as I saw it on The Today Show.  First, because I know you watch the program.  Second, because it was about Babs.  Third, because ultra-sweet Ann Curry so nicely threw in, "We should mention she did apologize later..."  Fourth, cause the F-bomb now inexplicably makes me think of you.

Is this Howard Stern in a blonde wig?  Oh, no, it's Babs.  I can tell by the nails.


"Haha! I love your comments. You just wait there will be more of Kat in Glasses! ha! I love the pic of Nena in glasses. DID you do that? Clever is so! XX kat"
-- Katharine McPhee (January 4, 2007)
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10/10/2006 2:50 PM Alert 
LMAO Muttie, she does kind of look like a drag queen in that picture.

-Ash-
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10/10/2006 3:30 PM Alert 
I'm going buy more cookies

You can call me Laurie..or L..or whatever it is that you would like to call me. These days, I answer to just about anything. :smiles:

A Proud Member of "The Laurs"

Katfia- "McQueen"..please people, it was given to me.
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10/10/2006 3:49 PM Alert 
Posted By Mutt808 on 10/10/2006 2:47 PM

LOL, Co, I thought of you as soon as I saw it on The Today Show.  First, because I know you watch the program.  Second, because it was about Babs.  Third, because ultra-sweet Ann Curry so nicely threw in, "We should mention she did apologize later..."  Fourth, cause the F-bomb now inexplicably makes me think of you.

Is this Howard Stern in a blonde wig?  Oh, no, it's Babs.  I can tell by the nails.

LOL - That you thought of me, this must have been big news because it was covered in the first hour!  Yes, that sweet lovable Ann Curry, she's always looking out for people - such a wonderful person, I love her!   Darn that Babs - WTF was she thinking, her and those damn political views always seem to backfire on her.  I swear why is it that the artists I like get in trouble for opening their mouths?   Babs is going to have to do some major damage control over this mess, unfortunately, incidents like this people  always seem to remember. 

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10/10/2006 4:22 PM Alert 
Did you hear them mention later that her rep claimed that the man who heckled her (the target of her "STFU" comment) was a "professional heckler"?    Somebody pays him to heckle Babs?

"Haha! I love your comments. You just wait there will be more of Kat in Glasses! ha! I love the pic of Nena in glasses. DID you do that? Clever is so! XX kat"
-- Katharine McPhee (January 4, 2007)
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10/10/2006 5:14 PM Alert 
Posted By AI12345 on 10/10/2006 3:30 PM
I'm going buy more cookies


You go buy those cookies, L! Save some for me!!

Katastrophic McPheever =^.^=
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10/10/2006 5:15 PM Alert 

Pictured is the only remaining survivor of the rampage dubbed "The Cookie Massacre".  Witnesses recalled the brutality unleashed by KMF Moderator AI12345 on the popular baked goods. 

"Everything seemed fine.  I mean, we were all just hanging out.  Next thing I know, I look around... and there's just, like, crumbs EVERYWHERE," said California Kat Phan.  Bigshady added, "I didn't even know anything was wrong until I noticed it was suddenly quiet.  All the cookies were jammed into her face.  She couldn't even talk."

Laurie, more commonly known as "L," recently went berserk, unleashing her blind rage on what can only be described as as innocent crowd of cookies.

"OMG," said Sasha83.  "OMG, OMG!!!  When I looked towards L, all I saw was a cloud of crumbs, like sawdust flying off a lumberjack's tree.  OMG!"  Although Laurie made no offer to share any of the cookie victims, Sasha83 did manage to get a small taste when ordered to kiss Laurie's feet once the crumbs settled.  "I could taste a little chocolate chip, but it still smelled like feet." 

An inside source who insisted on anonymity added that L has widely been known to regularly forget to shower.

 


"Haha! I love your comments. You just wait there will be more of Kat in Glasses! ha! I love the pic of Nena in glasses. DID you do that? Clever is so! XX kat"
-- Katharine McPhee (January 4, 2007)
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