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Subject: HTT: Leaper Talked Down From Ledge
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Username: Minnie
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Posts:2404

Katharine Addict
Katharine Addict
Location: Palo Alto, CA


Member Since 7/14/2006

03/11/2007 9:24 PM Alert 
Reported by KatFan49(da Don)


Leaper Talked Down From Ledge

Hollywood - Clueless Press International

The Hollywood Emergency Rescue Squad (HERS) today found themselves in an eight hour negotiation with a man threatening to leap to his death.

Thomas Reilly Osbourne was apparently despondent over the breakup with his girlfriend due to his infidelity and was threatening to jump from his fifth floor condominium. When HERS arrived, Mr. Osbourne was perched on a ledge, yelling incoherently to the crowd below.

A witness stated that Mr. Osbourne was screaming over and over, "I cannot believe this video. You have to see this. It's killing me. I can't take this anymore. I can't get over it! I just can't get over it!"

Lt. Fred Columbo of HERS explained that Mr. Osbourne was finally talked into coming off the ledge when his demands of state-funded psychological counseling and a chihuahua puppy were met after almost eight hours of talks. A video mini-disc that the subject was clutching was confiscated and has been viewed by authorities.

"The man is a fool," said Lt. Columbo.

When questioned about referring to a man in obvious emotional distress as a "fool", the Lt. had this to say:

"Mr. Osbourne is a truly disturbed individual, and in no way would I disparage him because of his emotional state. That would be insensitive, and in no way would it reflect the feelings of this officer or the department.

"On a personal level, though, you must admit that anyone who would cheat on Katharine McPhee would have to be a fool."

Here's hoping Mr. Osbourne gets over it and regains some level of dignity in his life.


 



We are definitely working together -- working on a record together. She sings so magnificently, it's just amazing -David Foster-


Username: kate4chrisandkat
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Posts:512

Katharine Addict
Katharine Addict
Location: Minnesota


Member Since 6/30/2006

03/11/2007 9:43 PM Alert 
LOL!!!!!!!!! HILLARIOUS!!!!! THANKS!
Username: KatFan49
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Posts:624

Katharine Addict
Katharine Addict
Location: Just outside the Capitol of the Free World


Member Since 7/8/2006

03/11/2007 9:48 PM Alert 
I'VE ARRIVED!!!!

Minnie actually tracked me down, found this story, and posted it here.  Gotta love her.

Did someone say syndication?

Katharine's summer is full of hope, full of potential, and promises to provide many bouquets to grace the home that I call my heart.

www.myspace.com/katfan49
www.myspace.com/katfia
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Username: nanhasmcpheever
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Posts:345
Katharine Addict
Katharine Addict
Location: San Diego


Member Since 5/30/2006

03/11/2007 9:53 PM Alert 

LMAO!!

On a personal level, though, you must admit that anyone who would cheat on Katharine McPhee would have to be a fool."

I thought you were gonna say "On a personal level, though, you must admit that anyone would cheat on their girlfriend for Katharine McPhee!!"

 

Username: Gregoriancant
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Katharine Addict
Katharine Addict
Location: Oregon, USA


Member Since 5/26/2006

03/13/2007 3:04 AM Alert 
Even The Daily Dung has missed getting the scoop from THT--so good to see it back here via a much cheaper and easier syndication system.

Well, I still get issues of TDD on my doorstep--though I've been too busy to read them very thoroughly since the beginning of the year. According to a report I saw this last week, though, this Thomas Osbourne guy is apparently a former employee of TDD (he was a coffee enema messenger to the insane CEO)--and there's even reports he's an illegitimate son of famous rocker, Ozzy Osbourne not recognized in his will. Even so, he kept that last surname just to keep some kind of weird connection to the family. Reports are that he got so obsessed with watching 'The Osbournes' on DVD that TDD eventually fired him when 9 out of 10 coffee enemas weren't delivered on time. The final straw was when he was seen eating a bat head on a sandwich one day--i.e. proving his DNA to Ozzy Osbourne.  Clearly, Osbourne has issues...hence this incident in Hollywood.

In any case, I'll report on a new TDD story soon that's related to Kat when I see one that's apropos. They've done various stories since my last transcription last fall. Everything from Nena's secret underground video blogs, Kat's bad habit of whistling while she does housework (with squirrels, rabbits and birds flying into her condo through ventilation pipes and other available openings) and a story about a pair of giant reflective sunglasses she bought that actually made Al Gore have to reverse his thinking on global warming.

The Kat stories never stop--so be on the lookout in here before summer comes and TDD's star reporter, Omni Scient, has to start impersonating one of Kat's backup singers to get on-stage scoops during the tour...
Username: Kit-Kat
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Posts:81

Katharine Crazy
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Member Since 4/7/2007

06/08/2007 11:42 PM Alert 
LOL, this is old but it was entertaining.

I find it so funny how people are so easy to judge people they don't know, but think they have the right to scrutinize others because those "others" are celebrities. From Britney Spears to Katharine McPhee radio hosts and magazines will always make unfair statements and allegations. I am fans of both Britney and Katharine, two totally different artists, but I find that whether you are a icon or a promising newcomer from a hit reality show, the punches and jabs will come and never stop...but I have news for the haters, they won't stop either so you can take your opinions and give them to people that care, because the fans are like, SO over it.
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Forums > American Idol > American Idol Satire and Fiction > HTT: Leaper Talked Down From Ledge



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