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This topic was inspired by the "You Know You're Addicted..." thread started by gecko2gecko (Julie)
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Kathaholics Anonymous
Jacksonville - Clueless Press International Phans of media darling Katharine McPhee today announced the formation of a new self-help organization, Kathaholics Anonymous.
"We are seeing a tremendous swell in the numbers of people who are addicted to following the career of Ms. McPhee," said the prime organizer, Ms. gecko2gecko. "These people need help. Other groups dealing with addiction have been tremendously successful in helping their members cope with the underlying stresses that lead to dependency. Primarily, addicts need to know that they are not alone, and that help is only as far away as a sharing, caring member of our group.
"We are currently offering support through internet access, primarily through forums and chat sessions. In severe cases, individual message services are being utilized to help those with immediate needs. We are also looking into the formation of individual chapters throughout the country where members can come together and interact, sharing their experiences and how they have coped with various forms of the Katharine addiction."
Highlights from the official "Addiction Program for Members" outline the steps to becoming a member and dealing with addiction:
1. McAddicts must listen to at least one Katharine McPhee song per day. 2. McAddicts must post at least one topic or three replys per week on the fan site of their choice. 3. McAddicts must attend at least one chat session per week. 4. McAddicts must attend two or more Katharine McPhee concerts per year. 5. McAddicts must send at least one personal letter to Katharine McPhee outlining the reasons for their addiction.
When questioned about how exactly the rules would help members to overcome their addiction, gecko2gecko said, "We know that the program we have developed does not follow the standard addiction treatment plan, but we are not your standard addiction treatment program. I'm sorry if you've formed pre-conceived ideas about our purpose, but we have absolutely no interest in helping people to overcome their problem. Far from it. We encourage our members to immerse themselves in it. How else are they to experience the true depth of Katharine addiction?"
Only time will tell if the program is successful, but for those suffering Katharine Addiction, it's the only available source for help and support.
For more information and to receive a free "PROUD TO BE A McADDICT" bumper sticker in orange, contact them at imakatharineaddictandiloveit.arg.