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Subject: "106.7"
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Username: KatFan49
Online: User is Offline
Posts:624

Katharine Addict
Katharine Addict
Location: Just outside the Capitol of the Free World


Member Since 7/8/2006

07/10/2006 11:05 PM Alert 

106.7

No, it's not my favorite radio station.

It's the temperature at which brain cells are permanently destroyed, and you begin to lose functions and cognitive abilities.

It's also the temperature at which McPheever manifests itself. After doing a little research because of what I thought was a faulty thermometer reading while checking to see if I had a cold, I ran across the following notice published last week in the Journal of Infectious Disease and Viral Contamination:

A new malady known as McPheever is sweeping the nation. As of now, there is no known cure, and the potential for widespread epidemic infection is causing concern at the Center for Disease Control (CDC) in Atlanta. According to CDC, approximately 200,000 to 300,000 individuals have contracted the disease since January, and the virus could conceivably infect several million within the next two years. "There's just no way of predicting what the ultimate numbers could be," said a spokesperson. "It spreads more rapidly than anything we've seen since some of the killer fevers of the last century. Unfortunately, it is extremely infectious, and one carrier, a la Typhoid Mary, can literally infect thousands within a couple of days."

While experts are advising people not to panic, they admit they know little about McPheever. "It just showed up on the scope one day. The first recorded case was in San Francisco and within a period of days, there were similar cases in Houston, Chicago and New York. Outbreaks have been reported as far away as Indonesia and Norway. We've had difficulty charting the spread of the disease, since most of the victims, while technically brain dead, appear to function as normal," said a doctor associated with the McPheever unit at John's Hopkins Medical Institute. "One interesting manifestation of the disease common to all of the victims is a relationship to a woman named Katharine. We're not sure exactly how she fits into this, or if she even exists outside of their toasted minds, but her name appears on every single patient survey we've conducted. They also all refer to themselves as KatPhans, whatever that is."

Symptoms vary widely, but the CDC advises to be on the lookout for the following behavior patterns in someone suspected of suffering McPheever:

Temperature in excess of 106.7F.

Inability to thnk about anything except Katharine.

Inordinate amount of time spent on the computer looking for Katharine.

Roaming the aisles of WalMart, especially the music section, specifically late at night.

Having all slots in a multiple disc CD changer filled with copies of the same CD, "Somewhere Over the Rainbow/My Destiny".

Uncontrollable desire to sing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow/My Destiny".

Handwritten letters to Katharine left in desk drawers, on the kitchen table or tucked away in a shoebox in the closet.

Large collections of photos of Katharine, especially in the "My Documents/My Pictures/Katharine" folder on the computer.

Large collections of videos of Katharine, especially in the "My Documents/My Videos/Katharine" folder on the computer.

Saying "Katharine" more than twice, out loud, while sleeping.

The CDC advises not to panic or rush a patient to the emergency room if any of the above symptoms are seen in the primary patient or a family member. At first, emergency rooms were overwhelmed with victims suffering McPheever, but triage stations were set up at the front door after it was discovered that a simple diagnosis could be made by asking the patient "What are you doing here?" and receiving a response of "Looking for Katharine". All that could be done for the victims was to send them home and advise that they be monitored closely. So far, no deaths have been recorded as a result of McPheever.

The CDC and Johns Hopkins Medical Institute request that in order to help them recognize more subtle symptoms of McPheever, you indicate in the "reply" section any symptoms you may have noticed, either in yourself or others, that could possibly be attributed to McPheever.


Katharine's summer is full of hope, full of potential, and promises to provide many bouquets to grace the home that I call my heart.

www.myspace.com/katfan49
www.myspace.com/katfia
www.myspace.com/katspack
Username: Bigshady
Online: User is Offline
Posts:2657

Katharine Addict
Katharine Addict
Location: SoCal


Member Since 4/8/2006

07/10/2006 11:17 PM Alert 
The McPheever has also spawned at least three cases of uncontrollabel running, usually in circles. The "victims" have been noted to have "Joker" like grins plastered on their faces for the duration of the running.

Several grown men have also been spotted purchasing copies of "Teen People" magazine claiming it was "for my niece" or "daughter".
Username: rickey
Online: User is Offline
Posts:87

Katharine Crazy
Katharine Crazy
Location:


Member Since 6/6/2006

07/11/2006 12:01 AM Alert 
I’m definitely got the McPheever....(Got the symptoms below)
•The grown man spotted buying Teen People magazine
•Large collections of photos of Katharine, especially in the "My Documents/My
Pictures/Katharine" folder on the computer.
•Large collections of videos of Katharine, especially in the "My Documents/My
Videos/Katharine" folder on the computer.
•The disease has spread to our country too.
Username: katpack4ever
Online: User is Offline
Posts:177

Katharine Obsessed
Katharine Obsessed
Location: You don't wanna know let's just say Somewhere Over the Rainbow! Keeper of Kat's SOTR performance and her laugh!


Member Since 5/25/2006

07/11/2006 12:16 AM Alert 
Wow so true! At least I don't feel so bad I mean it's been spreading so rapidly it's no surprise I caught it! I've been diagnosed and my medication is that I have a daily Katharine quota! Though if you ask me I think it heightens the symptoms! Gotta love having the McPheever!

*Katfia: AllyKat - Kanadian correspondant*
Username: Mutt808
Online: User is Offline
Posts:1675

Katharine Addict
Katharine Addict
Location:


Member Since 5/11/2006

07/11/2006 12:45 AM Alert 
I'm still running.

"Haha! I love your comments. You just wait there will be more of Kat in Glasses! ha! I love the pic of Nena in glasses. DID you do that? Clever is so! XX kat"
-- Katharine McPhee (January 4, 2007)
Username: animal
Online: User is Offline
Posts:199

Katharine Obsessed
Katharine Obsessed
Location:


Member Since 4/27/2006

07/11/2006 12:50 AM Alert 
another symptom: inability to move a single muscle and excessive production of drool when exposed to Katharine's pictures
Username: naturalchaos
Online: User is Offline
Posts:289

Katharine Addict
Katharine Addict
Location:


Member Since 4/11/2006

07/11/2006 12:55 AM Alert 
I'm definitely a victim... My Kat folder is almost 9GB! and I currently have 4,363 Kat pictures, although, I'm sure some of those are duplicates.

I'm also ashamed to say that I've also been purchasing, People, Teen People, OK, Life & Style and, God help me, will be buying Cosmo Girl when it comes out.

I may be a failure as a man but at least I'm a success as a Kat Phan.
Username: physicshater
Online: User is Offline
Posts:1035

Katharine Addict
Katharine Addict
Location: Sacramento,CA


Member Since 5/13/2006

07/11/2006 1:04 AM Alert 
Oops you got me..
I have all those symptoms except 'saying "Katharine" more than twice, out loud, while sleeping', cause well, I'm sleeping. How am I supposed to know ? *grin*
Username: Gregoriancant
Online: User is Offline
Posts:3706

Katharine Addict
Katharine Addict
Location: Oregon, USA


Member Since 5/26/2006

07/11/2006 2:42 AM Alert 
Let's not forget the attempts at curing the McPheever--but have so far failed. The CDC (along with Guinness Book of World Records and Martha Stewart's Helpful Houshold Hints books) have teamed up to show a number of things people have attempted to cure this now-proven incurable condition. All efforts made by these individuals make people convulse in laughter so violently, the identities of these people have been hidden to protect them from finger pointing and guffawing:

--'Mr. Jones' from Florida tried playing a mouth harp and singing 'Takin' It to the Streets' while dancing out in his neighborhood street during 4th of July festivities with his family. Unfortunately, family and friends noticed his CD bin loaded with 153 copies of Katharine's 'OTR'/'MD' single in a room that also was a makeshift Kat shrine. At last report, Mr. Jones was recovering in a hospital from mouth harp tongue and a sprained leg from attempting the Taylor 'falling on the floor' move.

--'Mrs. Golightly' from NYC went shopping for clothes in various upscale stores to get her mind off the Katharine boards. At last report, her husband (Mr. Golightly) is setting up a remarrying ceremony after Mrs. Golightly suddenly looked quite a bit like a certain someone from OK! Magazine. Of course, the news hasn't been broken yet to Mr. Golightly that it isn't 1965 any more.

--'Mr. Doe' in Oregon managed to get lost on vacation for a while so he wouldn't have any thought of Katharine-related news for a week. While walking on a deserted section of beach--he reportedly came across a UFO forming a sand sculpture.  The UFO disappeared, but left behind the image of what appeared to be Katharine's face in the sand. Later, when Mr. Doe went to a music store in the area, he had to hear about employees being abducted by aliens, while noticing every single copy of Katharine's 'OTR'/'MD' single in the store were gone.

(Note: Any resemblance to Gregoriancant is purely coincidence and overuse of imagination.)

--'Miss Smith' in Indonesia had started seeing Katharine's face in everything she saw in her house. The face of her clock, the surface of her morning toast, her oatmeal, sandwiches, dinner, the windshield of her car and, worst of all, on the entire face of her husband. To counterattack against this, she started living an ascetic existence by getting rid of everything in which she thought she saw Kat's face. Unfortunately, she found out that even blank space can form a face--and last we heard, Miss Smith was in a mental institution staring at a picture of Kevin Covais 24/7 that seemed to turn into a picture of Katharine's cover on Teen People.

Yes, cures are impossible. And there's more cases to come once they get clearance...
Username: NothlitHawk777
Online: User is Offline
Posts:1818

Katharine Addict
Katharine Addict
Location:


Member Since 5/31/2006

07/11/2006 5:39 AM Alert 
Hahahahahahaha

KatFan, Greg...this priceless, classic.

"I think it was the summertime when I laid eyes on you. I didn't even know your name...The boy you never wanted just steals your heart..."--Kat McPhee, Love Story

"4 walls and no you. The silence in this room is so loud...wow"--Kat McPhee, I Lost You

"I didn't see the crash that burnt the bridge, didn't see the missile that sank my loveship down..."--Kat McPhee, Dangerous

"Wanting you to be wanting me, no that ain't no way to be...You never were a friend of mine..."--Kat McPhee, Over It

"No more lonely nights to hurt me, no more tears left to spare, no more reasons to be unhappy. You threw them all up in the air..."--Kat McPhee, Each Other

"Your pedicure, white-tipped French. Your legs don't make no sense...Shoes like these make me hate flats..."--Kat McPhee, Open Toes