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In the April issue of SELF, American Idol's Katharine McPhee talks about how she turned a second-place finish into a winning situation. In this exclusive excerpt from her SELF interview, she tells us how she's feeling about her new album, what advice she'd give those struggling with eating disorders and what was going through her head the first time she watched Idol. Plus, go behind the scenes at the cover shoot in our video and blog, SELF Celeb Scoop.
See more of Katharine's music videos and keep up with her daily video blog at KatharineMcPhee.com.
When I was younger, I imagined the life of a pop star to be very lovely and glamorous. I loved Mariah Carey. It looked so effortless for her, so easy. Now that I'm in it, it's like, OK, this is going to be work, I've got to work for this! I think the older you get, you realize there's not as much glamour as you once thought. In video clips of me recording the album, I've got greasy hair and no makeup—I look so tired cause I've been in the studio all night. It's a lot of work, but the payoff is great—and I always knew that this is what I wanted to do.
I can't imagine being busier than I am now. I feel lucky. Some people might say "You're not the American Idol," but I feel like I am—they'll always refer to me as Katharine McPhee of American Idol.
It's like the opening night of a play or show. When I was acting, I used to think, Will people show up? Now, it's the same thing with the record. I'm worried. What if nobody likes it? But I have strong faith and try to be peaceful about it.
I take a deep breath. I pretend I'm sucking through a straw and let my lungs expand and then release really fast. I just try to get my lungs working. No matter how nervous you are, if you're breathing through it, you're going to make it through.
My mom even text-messages me cause she knows it's hard to get me. She'll call and won't get an answer so she'll text something like "Your performance was a knockout, I love you, Mama."
People always ask me, what's your advice to young girls struggling with this? And I say, I can't give you any advice other than you're never going to change until you want to. There's definitely help out there, but even when you get help that doesn't mean it's just going to go away right away. It's a process. But I feel like it's something that can be completely healed.
When I was a struggling actress, I needed the days free to go on auditions, so I worked for a mortgage place, four hours a night in a cubicle. I absolutely hated it. That didn't last long—I think I quit in about a month.
I remember it so vividly. In college, my dormmate one floor below me was the only guy with a television in his room. I remember everyone crowding around and being like "Go Kelly, Go Kelly!" The confetti coming down, her crying. I remember being envious and thinking, How cool is that? Little did I know, a few years later....
There's the life of people trying to make it in showbiz. And that's one job Kat hasn't mentioned other than her stint as a restaurant hostess and working in retail for a clothing shop. Working in cubicles has to be the ultimate nightmare for those wanting to burn their energies performing on a stage. Thanks to 'Dilbert' in recent years...I don't think anybody wants to work in a cubicle nowadays. Those are the claustrophobic mouse mazes of modern human existence, and I always hate them myself. Yes, there was actually a time when offices weren't designed like that.
Overall, this preview of the Self interview had some new and insightful answers that Kat always manages in every single interview she does. Interesting, though, that these are completely different questions and answers from what's in the actual Self interview.
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